Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Stopping at the Top (or the bottom as the case may be!)

Some people say there is a glass ceiling, others have taken to being the glass ceiling only failing to be transparent!

Have you noticed that one of the greatest things about escalators (or calculators as my mother proudly tells me I called them when I was small) is that they don't stop. OK so maybe they break down or have to be stopped every now again for routine maintenance or possibly stopped by a prankster (or an inquisitive is young engineer in the making). But generally speaking they don't stop.

Because they don't stop they can move hundreds of people up, down and along routes that need to stay moving where a normal staircase or corridor. Well it would be if the people didn't stop at the end of them!

I can completely accept that some poeple are genuinely afraid of the teethed plate at the end. But what I can't understand is people's inability to comprehend that if they stop after getting off the excalator everyone behind them has to stop too - only they can't because the escalator is mechanically forcing them to carry on!

I am reminded of a song that I so desperately want to sing to them all (and yes my singing is so bad they would get the message!) ... Keep on moving do do do do dobedo ...

Have you seen a CLOD?

Oh yes they are out there. They are still alive and well. Hundreds if not thousands of them. The facts of the matter are clear. CLODS (Centre Lane Only Drivers for the unfamiliar) are
getting ever more prevalent. A BOFPC (Back of Fag Packet Calculation) tells me that I spot around 2,500 a year in driving 10,000 miles and I suspect that is simply scratching the tip of traffic jam!

It's a shame really. The poor old Highways Agency are subject of a large amount of negative publicity as a result of long traffic delays caused by the roadworks designed to minimise or alleviate the very thing they are designed to avoid. I'd suggest that if we could eliminate CLODS then many of the traffic jams would dissapear!

So I think there is a choice:

a) Provide a suitable method of removing CLODS
b) Legalise "undertaking" - clearly we will need to start training drivers to understand that they will start to use the things on the side of their cars - often called wing mirrors!

Of course they could do nothing and watch people like me to go slowly go insane watching people drive in the centre lane with complete disregard for any other road users. Isn't that prosecuable under current law?!