Guilty but Not Responsible

To say that the last few weeks have been manic would be a slight understatement. They have been furious!

The other day someone asked me how I was.... "Winding Down?" they asked.... "You have to be kidding" I joked!

I then queried why on earth I wasn't winding down and the line "Guilty but not responsible" from a film called "The Contender" came to mind.

For the few months leading up to my resignation I felt a little guilty. Whether it was because of the meetings I was having (not all in work time!) or because I was struggling to keep on the mask that everything was fine and dandy I'm not sure. Nonetheless I did have a feeling of guilt.

I don't recall the guilt dissapearing but I am certain that the furiousity I am now exepriencing is now responsibility driven! I am still contributing to new ideas and working for the onward progress of the company; keeping up the day job with no one to hand over to!

Ho Hum!

And now the Main Board

So there I was making pleasantries with the chairman of the main board and he proceeds to ask me why I am leaving.

He was more than concerned and genuinely interested.

I had this theory once that basically made you feel worthless....

something about water in a bucket, put your hand in and take it out. The space / hole left in the water is relative to the hole you will leave should you leave a place.

Perhaps I was wrong......

In hind sight he might have been fishing for gossip or dirt on my superiors?! Who knows.

Leaving one Place to Join Another

In the last 3 weeks, maongst many other things, I have been called a "Sod" and and "B*****d" by two very close colleagues whom I would and still do consider close friends...

I have to admit I was surprised. And all because I said I was leaving!

News travels faster than you can consider. OUr facilities manager knew before most and possibly even before me! Apart from the outburst, I have been genuinely surprised by the response peope have had to me handing in my notice.

I maintain that noone is really indespensible and that no sooner are you gone as someone better and braver and more appropriate fills the void. So leaving is just a part of life. You leave one place to join another - probably because someone left the place you are going to!

Out of all of the comments and actions taken since handing in my notice I was most surprised to find out that the news was tabled at the board meeting..... gulp..... for me.... but I am lowest of the low.... someone who is often overlooked and rarely thought to have the answer to anything but admin questions!....

It would appear that I have an amount of knowledge that the business want to squeeze from me. Sadly I am not convinced that they know what it is!

Ho Hummmm